How to survive in Game of Throne
by Windy V.Radyata
Summary: How to avoid a gruesome death in Game of Throne.
1. Chapter 0

**HOW TO SURVIVE IN GAME OF THRONES**

 **CHAPTER 0** : Ridiculous Introduction

Well, I'm Windy . As you can see, season 6 of Game of Throne ended with countless deaths. And so did the previous seasons of this damn series. It seems that no season of Game of Throne would end without deaths. So to help you avoid a f*cking gruesome death in case you travel to Westeros and decide to take part in this sh*tty game, I have written a catalogue to instruct you on survival. Have fun reading all the instruction lines.

Windy out!


	2. Chapter 1

**HOW TO SURVIVE IN GAME OF THRONES**

 _Read all the line if you want to survive_

 **CHAPTER 01:**

1) Do not let Brienne into your protection.

Renly died, Catelyn died. Well good luck, Sansa!

2) Do not be a father to Jon Snow.

Ned Stark was Jon's adoptive father. Ned died. Jeor Mormont can be regarded as Jon's father. Jeor died. And Rhaegar… Oh poor Rhaegar! Rest in peace Last Dragon!

3) Do not marry Margaery Tyrell.

Renly married her in ss2, he died. Joffrey married her in ss4, he died. Tommen married her in ss5, he died. I don't think I need to explain this further.

4) Do not trust Littlefinger.

See what Ned got for trusting Littlefinger?

5) Beware of bandits, thieves, robbers.

This is too obvious, not just in Westeros.

6) Stay away from the Mountain.

People who stayed too close to this guy didn't end up very well. Elia, Rhaenys, Aegon, Oberyn, …

7) Do not play with Wildfire.

Unless you want to become a green torch.

8) Do not mess with Khal Drogo.

Perhaps you should go ask Viserys what he got after violating this commandament.

9) Do not trust whores.

Who would have thought that Ros would be a spy? Other whores could be, too.

10) Do not trade dragons.

Dragons are not like sheep that you raise and trade as you please. Dragons are not your slave, tools and things that you can buy and sell.


	3. Chapter 3

**HOW TO SURVIVE IN GAME OF THRONES**

 _Read all the line if you want to survive_

 _ **Windy is back! Long time no see guys! New chapter every Saturday!**_

 **CHAPTER 02:**

1) Do not irritate a khaleesi, especially when she is carrying a son.

Oh poor Viserys (again)! He shouldn't have threatened to kill Daenerys and Rhaego.

2) Always have a weapon with you when you go out.

Not just when you go out, even when you are at home. The world is just too dangerous to go anywhere empty-handed.

3) Keep your word.

Every word you say can decide your life and people's life. Do not just say something carelessly because you feel like saying it. Be careful on each word and do not forget what you said.

4) Defeat house Frey of the Crossing when you have chance. They are not reliable.

Robb trusted house Frey. Catelyn trusted house Frey. Edmure trusted house Frey. What did they get in the end? Betrayal.

5) Keep the door locked when you are in toilet.

How did the Hand of King die? Shot by his son when he was in toilet. How did his son manage to shoot him when he was shitting? He forgot to lock the door.

6) Do not tease direwolves. Their teeth are sharp.

Joffrey's arm, Greatjon Umber's fingers… Okay, just try to tease a direwolf.

7) Knowledge is power. The more you know, the more advantageous you are.

How did Littlefinger become extremely powerful and successful? He was knowledgeable. That's all.

8) Do not confess any crime to the High Septon, unless you want a Walk of Atonement.

Cersei was made to walk the Walk of Shame because she confessed that she commited incest. Okay!

9) Do not confess. Just demand a trial by combat.

After a trial of combat, if you lose, you just have to compensate a sum of money. So just demand trial by combat.

10) Listen to right advices.

If Robb had listened to his mother and uncle's advices, he wouldn't have end up life that.


	4. Chapter 4

**HOW TO SURVIVE IN GAME OF THRONES**

 _Read all the line if you want to survive_

 _ **Windy is here! Brace yourself! New chapter is coming!**_

 **CHAPTER 03:**

1) Money is extremely necessary.

What would/could you do when there aren't a single penny left in your pocket?

2) When your city is under siege, a hideout with supplies will do the things.

The invaders do not care which side you are on, they will just savage you when they take your city. So how about preparing a comfortable hideout while you are figuring out how to get out of the city?

3)Train swordsmanship, archery and martial arts to defend yourself.

Well do not expect a gallant knight to show up and save you like in fairy tales told by your nanny. Knights are just busy. That's why you have to save yourself. So let's find a good master and start your training.

4) Do not befriend Ramsay Bolton. He will eventually feed you to his hound.

This bloody man killed his father, fed his stepmother and half-brother to his hounds. What makes you think he wouldn't do the same to you?

5) Cardio. Keep fit. If you can not fight, at least you can outrun your enemies.

Well the point is your physical strength.

6) If you know a lustful man or woman coming, run for your life!

Unless you are lustful too

7) Working for the Iron Bank of Braavos is the safest way to survive (?!)

No organizations, no kings had ever attacked this bank. If they had, the support of the Iron Bank would have been lost.

8) Form alliance with house Lannister and house Tyrell.

Two wealthiest and most powerful houses of Westeros. Okay!

9) Sit at the most crowded table in a feast.

If someone wants to kill you, he/she will have to overcome a bunch of people. And you can easily realize if the food has been poisonous.

10) If you are wanted, disguise as another man.

If you walk outside and see your face on wanted posters, will you show your real face in public?


End file.
